C H SPURGEON AT A WEDDING
By C H SpurgeonFROM SWORD & TROWEL 2001 No
1
Edited from The Sword and the Trowel, April, 1894.
PASTOR E A HOBBY, of Macclesfield, was trained in the Pastors’ College,
and married in May 1890 at a Baptist chapel in Thornton Heath, the service being taken by
C H Spurgeon.
Addressing the audience in the chapel, Mr Spurgeon said -
We do not look upon the ceremony of marriage as, in itself, a religious
service; it is the entrance into a legal contract, binding upon the parties thus united,
altogether apart from their position as believers or unbelievers. It is our conviction,
however, that everything that is right should be ‘sanctified by the word of God and prayer’;
and therefore it is seemly that there should be a gathering together of Christian friends to
witness the plighting of the troth on the part of those who are to be married, and to
commend them specially to the Lord in prayer.
Marriage is nearly the most important event in our lives. It has almost
everything to do with our future career. So many interests are bound up in it. In the days to
come it may bring so much happiness, or it may cause so much sorrow, that we cannot
plead too earnestly for the Lord’s guidance and blessing upon everything connected with it.
Marriage is the only thing that has come down to us out of Paradise, and it
has something of the Garden state still clinging to it. It has been used by our Lord Jesus
Christ as the emblem of His love to His Church, and of His union with her; and that fact
puts high honour upon it.
Jesus wrought His first miracle at a wedding - a very significant miracle -
turning water into wine, as if to show that life, after marriage, becomes more full, more rich,
more exhilarating, than it was before. The golden Book of Revelation closes
with a wedding - ‘the marriage of the Lamb’. As fictional stories frequently close with -
‘they were married, and lived happily ever afterwards’ - so God’s old, old story, of Jesus
and His love concludes with a wedding. Oh, may every one of us be called to the marriage
supper of the Lamb, and live for ever with Him in glory!
It is our earnest prayer that our brother, whom the Lord has made useful in
the ministry, may become doubly useful from this time. Having a wife, he
ought to be able to do twice as much work for the Master. As each of these dear friends has
been individually blessed in the work of the Lord, we pray that, unitedly, they may have a
still larger blessing, and may be the means of bringing many souls to the Saviour.
[At this point two Tabernacle elders led in prayer for the pair about to
be married, and the legal vows were duly repeated by them both. Then Mr Spurgeon
continued:]
We have given up a great many rites and ceremonies, because we
thought they tended towards superstition, but we have retained the ring. It is an
index and symbol of true wedded love, for it is a perfect circle, there is no end to it. It is
made of pure gold, or it should be pure if it is to be an emblem of real love.
Will you, my dear brother, in giving the ring to your bride, say to her, ‘I give
thee this ring, to be worn through life, as a token of my affection and faithfulness’? Will
you, my dear sister, in receiving this ring, say to your husband, ‘I will accept it, and will
wear it as such’?
[This done, the couple were duly pronounced as man and wife, and the Pastor proceeded:]
Now, dear friends, I will read just a few verses of Scripture with
regard to the duties of husbands and wives. I believe these young people are well acquainted
with those duties; but I will read the apostle’s words just to refresh the memories of some of
the older folk present, who may have begun to forget what Paul wrote.
I would, however, first ask the prayers of the friends here for our dear
brother and sister, and especially for our sister. If I was a young woman, and was thinking
of being married, I would not marry a minister, because the position of minister’s wife is a
very difficult one for anyone to fill.
Churches do not give a married minister two salaries, one for the husband
and the other for the wife, but in many cases they look for the services of the wife, whether
they pay for them or not. The minister’s wife is expected also to know everything about the
church, and in another sense she is to know nothing of it; and she is equally blamed by
some people whether she knows everything or nothing.
Her duties consist in being always at home to attend to her
husband and family, and being always out, visiting other people, and doing all
sorts of things for the whole church. Well, of course, that is impossible; she cannot be at
everybody’s beck and call, and she cannot expect to please everybody. Her husband cannot
do that, and I think he is a great fool if he tries to do it, and I am certain that, as the husband
cannot please everybody, neither can the wife.
Difficulties arise continually in the best regulated churches; and, as I said
before, the position of the minister’s wife is always a very trying one. Still, I think that, if I
was a Christian young woman, I would marry a Christian minister if I could,
because there is an opportunity of doing so much good in helping him in his service for
Christ.
It is a great help to the cause of God to keep the minister himself in good
order for his work. It is his wife’s duty to see that he is not uncomfortable at home; for, if
everything there is happy, and free from care, he can give all his thoughts to his preparation
for the pulpit; and the godly woman who thus helps her husband to preach better, is herself
a preacher though she never speaks in public. So she becomes to the highest degree useful
to the church of Christ committed to her husband’s charge.
Now let us turn to the Epistle to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verse
25 -
‘Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and
gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by
the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or
wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.’
This is what Paul says, and he writes under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
You cannot love your wife too much, brother. I have never yet heard of a man who loved
his wife too ardently. I have heard of wives who have been said to be too attentive to their
husbands, but I have not met with any such.
True love seeks the holiness of its object. It is false fire that would lead
another into sin. Hence Christ Himself, when He gave Himself for the Church, intended to
sanctify, and cleanse, and perfect it. The Lord give us great grace, not only to seek
sanctification for ourselves, but also to make us the means of promoting holiness in others.
‘So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and
cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his
flesh, and of his bones.’
What a wonderful truth, that we should be joined to Christ by a living,
lasting union! You remember how Christ said, ‘My sheep hear my voice, and I know them,
and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither
shall any man pluck them out of my hand.’ Someone said, ‘Ah! but they may slip through
His fingers.’ ‘No,’ replied another, ‘they cannot, for they are His fingers, as the
apostle says, "For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones." ’ This is one
of the clearest proofs of the security of all believers; for if Christ were to lose the least
member of His body, He would not be perfect.
‘For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be
joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I
speak concerning Christ and the church.’
Christ left His Father, He left the courts of glory, and came here below, and
was joined unto His Church, so that He became one with her.
‘Yea,’ saith the Lord, ‘with her I’ll go
Through all the depths of care and woe;
And on the cross will even dare
The bitter pangs of death to bear.’
And all because He was one with His Church.
‘Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as
himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.’
That little sentence at the end is often not noticed: ‘let . . . the wife see that
she reverence her husband,’ which implies, ‘let the husband see that there is something in
him worthy of his wife’s reverence.’
Now let us turn back to verse 22 -
‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife.’
My dear friends, do not begin to feel proud because Paul says that ‘the
husband is the head of the wife’. Solomon says that ‘a virtuous woman is a crown to her
husband;’ and the crown is the top of the head. Still, the governing faculty should rest with
the head; and the family will never be ordered aright unless we each keep our right place. I
sometimes say to a newly married wife, ‘Do not try to be the head of your husband. Let him
be the head - you be the neck, and then you can turn him whichever way you like.’
‘Even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the
body.’
Here we see that the husband’s headship consists in doing the will of Christ.
The Lord Jesus is the Head, and He is the Saviour.
‘Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to
their own husbands in every thing.’
That is the teaching of God’s Word; take care that it is carried out in your
lives. Now let us sing -
Father of the human race,
Sanction with Thy heavenly grace
What on earth hath now been done,
That these twain be truly one.
One in sickness and in health,
One in poverty and wealth,
And, as year rolls after year,
Each to other still more dear.
One in purpose, one in heart,
Till the mortal stroke shall part;
One in cheerful piety,
One for ever, Lord, with Thee.
I think we do well to be very joyful at the wedding of Christians, for a well-
ordered, godly household is a standing proof of the power of Christianity. I know several
friends who, when they speak of their wives and children, say, ‘If true religion brought me
nothing else but my happy home, I would feel sure that it came from God.’
When I see homes where there is no contentment, no peace, no happiness,
how I wish that the grace of God were introduced there, to turn out the enmity, strife, bad
temper, bitterness, drink, and so on! Depend upon it, true religion is good for this life as
well as for that which is to come; and, while we need it when we come to die, we need it
just as much when we are beginning life, and especially when we are entering the married
state.
Do all of you possess this true religion? We are only a little company; but are
we all believers in the Lord Jesus Christ? Have we all passed from death to life? If not, let
us think about this matter, and consider our ways, and turn to the Lord. If we seek Him, He
will be found of us. Where He gives the desire for grace, He will Himself satisfy that desire.
He is waiting at the door, and He will quickly come into every heart that is
opened to receive Him. God grant that the wedding day of our dear friends may be the
spiritual birthday, the time of conversion, to some who are with us this morning!
[Then came the closing prayer, described in the groom’s record of the
service as being full of yearning for souls, and gratitude for God’s goodness. As Mr
Spurgeon always objected to the publication of his prayers, the content is not indicated, but
the benediction with which he concluded the service is noted, which was as follows:]
‘The Lord bless you, and keep you, and cause His face to shine
upon you. The Lord bless you, both in body and in soul, in basket and in store, in the pulpit
and in the home, with friends or without them, in the sunshine of prosperity or in the
darkness of grief. The Lord be with you, and with us also, until the day break, and the
shadows flee away. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the
communion of the Holy Spirit, be your portion for ever. Amen.’
There being no reception, Spurgeon asked the couple if they would care for
an hour with him at ‘Westwood’, which they eagerly accepted. Pastor Hobby recorded -
‘He conducted us through the greenhouses . . . he appeared to be introducing
us to friends as well as to flowers; a little tale about one, a sweet promise associated with
another. Last, but not least, we visited the special sanctum, "the den". This seemed to us a
peculiarly consecrated room, for there the man of God held secret communion with his
Maker; there the famous Jerusalem blade was sharpened for the fray.
‘Fain would we linger, but time forbids. We must say "Farewell", and feel
thankful for the unexpected pleasures of spending an extra hour with the one we love so
well. As we pass out, I turn for a parting glance and breathe an almost inaudible "Good-
bye". The indefatigable toiler was already at work, but he responded, "Good-bye, dear
brother, and God bless you!" Thus ended my last interview with our beloved President.’
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